Too Late For An Apology



“Why the hell is she staring me? I seriously don’t like her. I just helped her out once and look at the way she is looking at me. Seriously man I have learnt a big lesson. We should never help a person if we have even the slightest doubt that it might create feelings for you inside her heart,” I said rudely.

I was sharing my irritation with my friends during my ongoing lecture as I was just so pissed of by the glances of a girl in my batch. It all started the day I met her for the first time and I had no idea that she will just get on my nerves. I still remember the day when she was weeping as people were teasing her for her oily hair, old-fashioned clothes and ‘total behen ji look.’ That point of time I sympathized with her and fought with the people who were making fun of her looks. I don’t know what made her think that I have feelings for her. People in the modern era have just become so judgemental especially a girl like Saloni, who just want a guy in her life and the person who gives her the first attention wins her heart. If this is what people call love then it’s better to choke yourself as this is the most foolish concept of love ever. I hate it when girls just fall for you just by your act of kindness.

“Is she still staring me?” I asked Rishi.

“Yup,” he replied. “Understand dude, she wants to marry you,” he teased.

“This is not funny at all. Just get me out of this situation anyhow or I’ll do exactly what those men did to her long back only if I wouldn’t have stopped them that time. God, why did I ever acted so nice?”

“Wait, let me handle this. I will talk to her,” said Riya, my girlfriend.

I could see her a red flame burning in her eyes with jealousy. She was the one I loved and for two years we had been together in a relationship. She just couldn’t bear any girl looking at me with love. I saw her thumping her feet in anger and walking up to Saloni. She just stood before her and blocked her stare at me. She snapped her fingers to get her back from her fantasy world in which I played a major role.

“Listen, you, just stop staring my guy with your dirty eyes. Stay away from him and trust me you can never get him as he has me and even he wasn’t with me he would anyways not choose an ugly girl like you who is just a meant to be mocked at. Just don’t forget your limits and if I ever see you staring him again I will not stop myself from taking your class before everyone. So if you wish to save yourself from humiliation just back off right now,” she yelled.

Saloni felt so embarrassed that she started sobbing hysterically. I don’t know why I always felt bad for her but she deserved it. I saw Riya shouting at her and not even once did Saloni retaliate. Why was she doing this? Why would any girl just sit silently and weep like this? I felt bad but at the same time, I was irritated as I don’t like a girl like her who just act so dumb. After some time Riya returned and I just calmed her down by initiating a romantic conversation.

After that day Saloni started ignoring me. Whenever I walked past her she would always pull her eyelids downwards and walk off. Initially, I felt comfortable but later I started missing her anyways. I never had a friendly conversation with her but I felt that something was connecting me to her. What was it I didn’t know? All I knew was that I was happy with my girlfriend and I had no place for any other girl in my life. I loved her madly but did she loved me as much as I loved her.

Riya always gave her friends much importance than me. She just took me for granted always but I never complained or begged for her love. Whenever she would spend time with me I would just make the best use of it but at the same time, I would wonder that how much will I lie to myself? She was just a perfect girl for any guy but I was not happy with her as I never got the love from her that I always wanted. Something was missing in our relationship and that something I felt when Saloni was staring me. Hold on, did I made a mistake by hurting Saloni?

“Fine, I think I should apologize to her as what I did was just too rude,” I whispered to myself.

Before I could just get up and walk right up to her I saw her standing beside me but to my shock, she was holding something. She had stopped the cupboard from falling at me. I saw that she was not able to bear the pain but without considering anything she was there for my safety. Without wasting any time I pulled her in my direction and she withdrew her hand.

“THUD” was the sound that came as soon as she withdrew her hands. We were safe and that’s all that mattered to me at that instance. For the first time, I felt my heartbeat and I realized I was in love. I was about to say sorry when she pulled her hand and walked away. I called out her name loudly but she just left. I swiftly walked out of the library and was looking for her continuously but she was nowhere. I wanted to apologize to her and confess what I felt for her but where was she when I actually wanted to talk to her?

Suddenly, someone wrapped her hands around me and I thought it was Saloni. With a big smile on my face, I turned backwards. Unfortunately, the girl was Riya.

“Riya thank God you are here. I wanted to confess something about Saloni and just forgive me.”

She placed her finger on my lips and stopped me. “Listen to me first, I have a good news for us. Saloni has left this college forever. Our mentor informed us a few minutes back. I am just so happy she has gone out of our life.”

“What?” I asked in shock.

“What do you mean by this what?” she asked.

“Nothing,” it was all I could reply at that moment. Several thoughts revolved in my mind that just wouldn’t stop and I knew it well. After that day I never had a conversation with anyone. I broke up with Riya and accepted that I loved Saloni. I didn’t had any contact nor anyone else was in contact with her so I knew she would never return in my life. I have lost her forever. I was just too late to apologize to her.

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