It was quarter past 9 and I was eagerly waiting for the dream girl of my life. I had invited Aishwarya the same morning for dinner at my home. After putting in so much of efforts she had finally agreed to spend some alone time with me. I had very genuine feelings for her and she knew it well. She just wasn’t accepting me and I still don’t know the reason as she has neither rejected me completely nor accepted me. What goes on in her mind is seriously unpredictable.
The moment I heard a few knocks at my door I rose and walked swiftly towards the door. Before opening it I fixed my hair and stroked them here and there to ensure the hairstyle looked perfect.
The moment I opened the door I was mesmerized by her beauty. She wore a red off shoulder dress with block earrings and a silver neckpiece. She noticed me staring her but she did not feel uncomfortable. Rather, she encouraged me further by passing a delicate smile.
“Sid, can I enter or you are planning to spend the entire night over here?” she asked.
“Did she just say entire night?” I thought.
Controlling my emotions I grabbed her hand and slowly guided her into the house. I requested her to sit on the couch comfortably and wait for a few minutes till I get the dinner.
“I am extremely hungry. Please be back soon,” she requested.
“Don’t worry, you are the most precious guest of my house ever. I won’t disappoint you.”
Within a few minutes I placed all the meals that I had prepared for her. I could notice that she was damn hungry and without wasting much time I served her the meals and did the same for myself. We had a nice time together gossiping and she could not stop herself from praising my cooking skills.
After the dinner was over, we went towards the roof top and sat on the wooden chairs kept there. I shifted my chair closer to her and held her hand. She neither moved it away nor stopped me so I was in a dilemma whether she had the same feelings for me. I kept on admiring her beauty and she sat there silently blushing.
“Aishwarya,” I broke the silence finally by uttering her name.
“I know what you want to say to me. So mister, you like me right?”
“Definitely, this is the reason why I requested you to come here.”
I lifted her hand and kissed them gently. She shut her eyelids to feel the touch. I slowly eased her hands with my fingers and saw her smiling.
“I just want to know whether you feel the same for me. Whatever your decision will be I’ll respect it.”
“Actually, yes I have feelings for you but I don’t want to confess them. Okay I admit I love you but we cannot be together.”
“But why? Is there someone else in your life? Are you concerned about your parents? Any other reason? Please just tell me if anything is bothering you. We will fix it together. I promise you.”
“This is something that no one in this world can fix. Just remember one thing that whatever I will do will be the best for us. Right now what matters the most is that we love each other and we shouldn’t let this moment go. So just forget about the commitment for now and get lost in this moment with me. We will talk about it tomorrow.”
I was blank at that time. I was so confused. If she loves me then why can’t we be together? So many questions were disturbing me that time but I decided to make this moment special and forget about serious things for some time.
She suddenly bent forward and kissed me. I cupped her face with my hands and kissed her back. We just forgot all that we discussed a few minutes before and shared a nice intimate moment.
After an hour she said, “I need to go. It’s too late.”
“Please don’t leave me right now. I need you.”
“Sid get used to it. I won’t be there with you. This was the first and last time I am spending time with you.”
“What do you mean? Why can’t we be a couple? What is going on in your mind?” I asked her in a louder tone.
“Don’t yell at me like that it is hurting me.”
“And you are hurting me. I need my answers. If you aren’t serious then why did you……”
“Are you trying to point a finger at my character?”
“No I am not doing that but I too want an explanation.”
“Can you clearly say what you want?”
“I think you have just used me Aish. We had shared a moment, we love each other you were here the entire night, still you say you don’t want to be in a relationship. Do I look like a fool to you? We did all this together then it should have been our decision Aish and not entirely yours. If it was just for the sake of pleasure then fine you can leave and I won’t discuss this further with you as well as my friends. Don’t worry I still love you and so I won’t ruin your reputation by discussing this with my friends. It’ll stay between the two of us.”
“You never trusted me Sid. I have feelings for you but there’s a big reason why I never made the commitment. Anyways you’ll get to know soon. I wish you all the best for your life and do remember the time we had shared together instead of bursting out like you are doing right now.”
I was so lost in my anger that I couldn’t even notice the tears that she had hidden with her smile. I was so selfish to realize anything. After a few days I tried to contact her to apologize but her number was switched off. I was notified by one of my classmates that Aish passed away the next day before she had spent the night with me. She was suffering from last stage cancer and it was the last night of her life that she had devoted to me.
I couldn’t stop myself from shedding infinite tears after this incident. I wish I could have understood her and stopped her.
Friends, I lost my love but if you have someone in your life then I request you to always understand his or her point of view as well before judging anyone.
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